Pamela Anderson Fires Breasts - Advertising For New Pair

Pamela Anderson has fired her breasts after failing to win an 'In Touch Weekly Magazine' poll for "Best Breast in Hollywood"; as to add salt to the wound, the winner was actress Jessica Simpson who recently upset Pamela after wearing a T-shirt with the slogan "Real Girls Have Real Boobs." "This is not good news," explained Anderson spokesman Peter Asher. "Pammie feels very let down by her breasts and after much consultation has decided to fire them."

Her boobs have long been regarded as the best in the business but are now looking jaded and old and appear to be losing their way - being out gunned by the younger pairs on the block. "We have worked well together over the years and experienced a lot of success," commented 41-year-old Anderson at a Press Conference. "But I feel the time has come to part company." Adding, "There are growing artistic differences." This jibe was aimed at her left tit, Molly, who has been refusing yet further implant surgery after Hollywood plastic surgeon, Alex Karidis, warned Pamela her breasts "were at risk of caving in" and "could be beyond repair."

Rumours abound that Anderson has made a move on British glamour model and TV star Jordon's boobs, making an offer of $10m. "She is looking for a large, mature and experienced pair," continued Asher. "And Jordan fits that bill perfectly." But the English star, AKA Katie Price, has vehemently rejected the offer. "My jugs stay in England," she told the 'Sun Newspaper' yesterday. "They're not going anywhere." This has lead to the President of 'The Breasts Union' (TBU), Sep Flatulence, to warn of modern slavery in the transfer market, as Jordan went on to say, that if need be, she wouldn't go topless or partake in glamour photography for an entire year if her boobs agreed to the move. "Pammie has had many applicants to her advertisement," continued Asher. "And is reviewing all the options." Rumour has it that Kylie Minogue's pair has shown interest but Anderson's made it clear, she's not interested in damaged goods.

news source : http://www.thespoof.com/news/